


monsters under my cape

by kondrakii



Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Dirge of Cerberus: Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Blood and Gore, Canon-Typical Violence, Gore, Other, cid fucks up, have fun reading your existentialism kids, short snippets because the author is lazy, thats it thats the plot, vignett
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-06
Updated: 2020-11-06
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:14:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27423310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kondrakii/pseuds/kondrakii
Summary: "...Vincent awoke once more in his darkness, red eyes fluttering open. He could feel the dust on his skin. His coffin had been cracked open. Since when had that happened? Vincent did not know. The man shut his eyes, intent on undertaking the rest of his punishment...."
Relationships: Cid Highwind/Vincent Valentine
Kudos: 4





	monsters under my cape

**Author's Note:**

> wrote this at 3AM, had a breakdown, bone apple teeth. my quotev is @hikarii if you're interested in following, although I only ever use it to make Seifer thirst posts.

_( 15 years ago, past time )_

_“life is worthless. there's no point. Why do we run in circles? Why do we chase meaningless goals? just to disappoint ourselves? to destroy ourselves? to run ourselves rampant until the very cusp of death? If the gods think I Will play this silly game, they are wrong. if the gods who damned me to this mortal fate laugh as I suffer, then let it be so. I will win this game. I refuse to run in circles for any longer. the fact of being is mere ignorance.”_

Vincent turned his head slowly, gazing over to the man currently snoozing away in the bed across from him, before continuing his speech.

_“If I were to end this now, only more suffering awaits me in the realm of nonexistence. So what fate is worse? emptiness or emptiness. death or death. never-ending suffering or never-ending suffering. the game never ends, it can never end, we are all victims of the curse of mortality and it is the most horrid fate that could be bestowed upon a being.”_

The cloaked man regarded the sleeping pilot with blazing eyes, pulling the red fabric tighter around himself. Cid’s snoring has stopped. Vincent continued.

_“The knowledge I possess curses and vexes me to no end. What comes after this punishment? What horrid, dreadful fate awaits me at the end of my suffering? I fear I could no longer be human if I knew. many avoid death by any means possible, but there is no point. It is suffering no matter which angle you take. Life is torture. Death is endless. there is no escape. Life and death are never-ending and we are trapped, trapped inside of a silly gods game that no one knows how to win. Is there any winning? I doubt that the gods would be kind enough to stop it. We are doomed. Everyone you love will die someday, and then you will follow them, into just another realm of unbidden suffering.”_

At this point, Vincent’s voice had grown deep with sorrow, his metal claws digging into the flesh of his arm, bidding drops of crimson to drip to the floor. The pilot sighed. Vincent continued. 

_“I want to die, but I know that when my life ends I will only be cast into an eternal realm of nothingness. nothing is nothing, and my mind will wander. It will flee and I fear of losing myself, but haven’t I already? Have I not already gone mad? the truth I will never know. I fear it. The knowledge that everyone seeks but no one knows. I do not want to know what happens after death because I fear the answer. I can only hope that I will suffer a worse fate than the others-- that because of my sacrifice, I can ease others suffering, even in death. I want to exist within the realm of nothingness with the sole memory of easing another's suffering. where do these emotions come from? I do not know. I don't care. I want them to stop.”_

Vincent tangled his non metal clad hand into deep black locks, tugging restlessly as more crimson stained the floor. Cid rolled over to face the man perched on the windowsill, regarding him with sleepy blue eyes. He remained silent. Vincent continued

_“I wish for nothing but darkness to overtake me in the near future. I wish for nothing more than death, and yet look at me; pitiful, brought to my knees by the mere thought of nonexistence. To hell with it. To hell with me. My emotions— I need them not.”_

The pilot blearily stood, padding over to the curled up bundle of existentialism and torn red fabric. Blue eyes caught red and Vincent unfolded from himself, allowing clearance for Cid to sit himself down. 

**“It’s been one hell of a night, huh, Vince.”**

The pilot lit a cigarette and placed the filter between his lips, puffing thoughtfully. Vincent demurely observed the smoke wafting from the burning end.

**“C’mon, vinny. Let’s get you in bed.”**

Vincent tremulously stood, allowing himself a short breath of respite before shedding his cloak. Cid merely watched, sharp eyes catching every movement Vincent made. The gunslinger revelled in the watchful gaze, warm, hazy comfort spreading through him like sugar in tea.

The heavy fabric thunked against the ground as Vincent shrugged it off, his cheeks stained with tears. Vincent felt weak in the knees. Cid was still looking at him, the smell of smoke spreading through the room. Vincent loved it. 

**"There ya go, vinny. Gently now.”**

Vincent hung onto every last word that left Cid’s lips, his rapt attention focused only on the pilots being. Cid smoked, Vincent panicked, the world was at ease. Vincent slipped onto the bed gracelessly, tugging the covers up to his chin, and not all minding the silver buckles of his shirt digging into his skin.

**“Come on now, vinny. Close those pretty eyes and get some rest. You know ya need it.”**

Vincent let his eyes slip shut, and the darkness surrounded him. 

——

_Drip._

_Drip. Drip._

——  
_( present time )_

A pleasant dream amongst the nightmares was uncommon. Vincent awoke, his eyes blazing inside the oppressive darkness of his coffin. He had dreamt of that damned pilot again. Vincent lies still. The world followed suit. 

——  
_( 10 years ago, past time )_

**“C’mon, babybird, up and at em’.”**

Vincent can feel his lips thinning out into a smile, can feel the soft breeze on his face. And most importantly, he can feel the sharp blue gaze of his pilot on his skin, prickling it with warmth. 

_“Always at your side, Highwind.”_

Vincent assured in his low tone.

**“I wouldn't have it any other way, Valentine.”**

Cid smiled briefly before turning heel and walking away.

——  
_( present time )_

Vincent awoke once more in his darkness, red eyes fluttering open. He could feel the dust on his skin. His coffin had been cracked open. Since when had that happened? Vincent did not know. The man shut his eyes, intent on undertaking the rest of his punishment. 

——  
_( 8 years ago, past time )_

**“So bluebird, what are yer’ thoughts on chai tea tonight.”**

_“Was that not the tea that Nanaki offered you last time we attended a reunion?”_

**“So what if it was?”**

_“I distinctly remember you spitting it out and cussing up a storm, chief.”_

**“But you liked it, didn't cha’, bluebird.”**

_“Yes, I suppose I am quite the fan of chai.”_

“Then it’s settled.”

_“So it is, Highwind. So it is.”_

——  
_( present time )_

Vincent awoke again from his slumber, but this time, it was not of his own accord. Red eyes met a startling blue, and Vincent felt his cheeks warm. His gaze travelled across broad shoulders first, observing the silver dog tags that gleamed around the man's neck. He took his sights up, then, to the shaggy blond hair, and then, finally, to blue eyes once more. Vincent shuddered.

And then, he slept.

——  
_( 8 years ago, past time )_

**“Ya know what, bluebird?”**

Vincent looked up from his book, observing his pilot as he tinkered with the golden gauntlet. Cid continued on, gruffly; 

**“I think we should get some fuckin’ rings or shit like that. Make it official.”**

Vincent sat on the thought for a few moments; Cid continued.

**“Ya know, like, all those cheeky newlyweds? Always flashin’ their rings and shit. But I know ya’ don’t like rings much, so how ‘bout a good ol’ pair of tags?”**

Vincent hummed in agreement. 

**“Ya’ look great in metal, Vince. Gonna get us a nice pair.”**

Vincent merely smiled.

His pilot was truly the kindest. 

——  
_( present time )_

Vincent awoke to the rustic smell of coffee and the metallic taste of blood. He grimaced, before looking to his left. There sat the pilot, goggles adorning his forehead, and a coffee mug settled in his hands. He looked serene, cigarette in his mouth. Vincent heaved a breath. It was hard to breathe. His vision blurred, and soon, he slept.

——  
_( 8 years ago, past time )_

His pilot was never deterred from a mystery, it would seem. Vincent held back a chuckle as he watched the blond man wade through knee high water. The duo had been out hunting as of late, attempting to gather up supplies for their journey to Nibelhiem. 

**“What do ya’ think I’ll find, songbird?”**

Vincent shrugged, hiding his expression inside of his mantle. 

_“It always depends on what you are seeking, Chief.”_

Vincent responded quietly, and it was met with a huff from the pilot. 

**“I’ll be seekin’ a swift kick to yer’ ass if ya’ keep feedin’ me existentialism, Valentine.”**

Vincent struggled to hold back his laughter. Cid struggled to lift up a metal scrap.

It was purple and blue and red, shimmering from the sunlight.

Vincent froze.

Chaos.

——  
_( present time )_

He always managed to ruin things somehow, Vincent realized, now sitting up in the bed he had been moved to. The pilot was gone, leaving only Vincent and his thoughts. Not for long, however, since the door squeaked open, marking Cid’s return.

No, not Cid. Just pilot. 

Vincent reminded himself.

_You lost the right to speak his name the second you ran away._

Vincent steeled his nerves, his shoulders hunched protectively. Like a cat ready to pounce. 

Cid stood, scowling at the mussed, red cloaked man lying in his bed. Vincent had been gone for quite awhile. 

Vincent waited. Cid stood.

Vincent glared, Cid scowled. 

Finally, their standoff came to an end when Cid sighed in exasperation, flicking out a cigarette and lighting it up, the hazy smoke gliding out past his lips.

Vincent’s eye twitched.

He had to escape.

——  
_( 6 years ago )_

**“Ya’ know, songbird, I never cared much for women.”**

Vincent almost snorted, and he would have, if Galian’s fire had not burned away at his throat years ago, ruining him from almost all signs of expression. 

Cid took Vincent’s silence as a sign to continue. 

**“Shera was nice an’ all, but she was too sweet on me. Givin’ me all too good advice, scowlin’ when I did sumthin’ dumb. It took a lot outta me. I’m just glad that I have ya now, songbird.”**

Vincent smiled, relaxing back into the praise that he felt wholly unworthy of receiving.

——  
_( present time )_

**“Ya’ left.”**

Vincent was glaring at the ceiling, still stuck in the pilot’s home. 

**“Ya’ promised not to leave, an’ then ya’ left.”**

Vincent let a sigh escape his chapped lips.

**“Yer’ a coward, Valentine. A real sucker.”**

His father had said the same thing to him. Years ago. Smacking him upside the head and telling him how wrong he was, how incorrect his shots were, and then pressing him to shoot more. Shoot again. Kill, kill, kill. It’s all he knew anymore, it felt like.

_“If you gathered me from my coffin to merely harass me, captain, then I think you have done quite enough. Let me go.”_

Cid stood quietly, mouth agape.

Vincent’s voice was raspy.

Worse than when he had first heard it.

**“Songbird,,,,”**

_“Let me go.”_

**“I ain’t gonna let ya’ run off now.”**

_“I….”_

Vincent stopped. 

Vincent glared. 

Cerberus was resting on the side table, and both men’s eyes flicked to the weapon. 

**“Ya’ wouldn't shoot me, Valentine.”**

Despite his words, the pilot sounded unsure.

_“Would I not, now? When it is, as you say, ‘all I know how to do’?”_

The words stung, and Vincent let them.

Red eyes met piercing blue.

**“Forgive me, songbird.”**

——  
_( 4 years ago )_

A cold wind blew against Vincent’s cheeks, nipping at his nose and making his eyes water. Vincent shuddered, his headband missing from it’s usual perch on his forehead.

Vincent had not cried in 30 long years. He sniffed, telling himself that the only reason his eyes were watering was because of the wind. He could not cry. A beast like him was incapable of emotion. Even the pilot had agreed. 

Chaos rumbled a small coo, his own personal hell taking pity on his soul. Vincent squinted against the sunlight. 

**“Yer’ nothing but a monster, Valentine.”**

The words echoed against the inside of his skull, bouncing off of his stray thoughts and refusing to leave him alone. Vincent glared at the railing of the airship. 

Vincent glared, and then he sobbed, and then, he jumped.

Vincent cried out into the wind, allowing the gusts to tear him to shreds, cloak ripping and snapping at his hands and back. Vincent soon felt chaos rumble in his chest, the comforting sound drowning out all else around him.

Chaos was back, and that was all Vincent needed.

Chaos had returned to him, beckoning him back into the darkness.

——  
_( present time )_

**“I didn’t mean what I said to ya’, songbird. I didn’t mean it one bit. I was being a supid old codger.”**

**“My temper got the best of me, songbird.”**

Vincent dully gazed into his mug of coffee, eyes of hellfire reflecting back up at him. Vincent felt Chaos grumble deep within his chest. The demon did not like the pilot one bit. Vincent agreed. 

**“Cmon’ songbird. Say something. Anything.”**

Vincent let his gaze wander and found himself tugged into a sorrowful blue. The pilot was crying. 

Vincent stared, uncaring. 

_“What do you want.”_

**“Nothin’.”**

_“Then why am I here.”_

**“....”**

Cid looked down to the ground, as if he had dropped something. Vincent’s eyes went back to their coffee gazing. Chaos grumbled once more. He was hungry.

Vincent, who had little care for the pilot's emotions after the incident, stood from his seat and wandered into the kitchen. 

_“You stole me away. I am taking back retribution through food.”_

Cid smiled softly, a small light of hope showing through.

**“You do that, Vincent. You do that.”**

——  
_( 4 years ago )_

Vincent felt Chaos’ power flood through him like a dam had broken, and he almost let loose a sheer cry of ecstasy. Soon enough the pleasure subsided into pain, searing agony burning against his back, his hands twisting and soon ending in pointed claws.

Vincent felt whole, yet broken all the same. He curled up inside his mind, allowing Chaos to have free reign for the first time in fifteen years.

Chaos gave a charming rumble, comforting Vincent in the back of his mind. He whipped around and bared his teeth at any who tried to cross their path. Chaos was whole again, he had his host back where he belonged. 

All of a sudden, Gallian Beast surged up against Chaos, fighting the demon’s grip on Vincent’s consciousness. Gallian swung their claws down upon a random stranger, revelling in the blood that doused their body. 

Chaos, aggravated, shoved the beast back down and hurried away from the wreckage, red cape snapping at his heels as he went. Leathery, bloodied wings trailed behind him, leaving reddish streaks on the pavement.

People scattered, screaming, yet Vincent was undeterred from his sleep. 

_**“ good. ”** _

Chaos grumbled to none other than himself.

_**“ my host could do with the rest. ”** _

Chaos gave three huge beats of his wings before launching himself into the skies, and taking off for Nibelheim. His host would want to rest, most certainly. And their coffin was the best place to do it in, for the time being. 

——  
_( present time )_

Vincent quietly ate his food, hands trembling. He had removed his gauntlet, revealing the weak sinew and muscle of his arm. He did not like feeling exposed, but Chaos liked it even less. A low rumble built in his chest as Gallian and Chaos both expressed their displeasure in their weakness being revealed. 

Vincent ignored the feeling of flames licking up the back of his throat, and merely grabbed for his coffee.

**“So, I take it you have all yer’ little beasties back now? Chaos n’ everyone?”**

Vincent looked up from his food and to the pilot. He gave a soft nod, his eyes burning with the hellfire of both Gallian and Chaos.

**“Been awhile since yer’ eyes were like that. It’s nice to see sumthin’ so familiar. They always used to be so bright before Chaos left. S’ he being nice to ya’?”**

Vincent would have laughed softly, or even quirked a smile, if he had forgiven the pilot for his misgiving. 

_“Chaos is… manageable. Gallian even less so. He does not like… the added company.”_

Cid nodded in agreement, before going back to his tea.

Vincent stood from his seat and reached for his gauntlet, sliding it back on. His cape was draped over a poorly upholstered chair in the corner. He made a grab for it.

**“Leavin’ so soon, songbird?”**

_“I fear the call of Gallian awakes within me. I need to run him rampant.”_

**“Be safe, songbird.”**

_“....”_

**“Come visit soon, ya hear? I miss ya.”**

_“...I will… think, of it, Highwind.”_

Vincent allowed the name to slip through his chapped lips, before grabbing Cerberus, and rushing through the window, Chaos’ wings materializing and launching him up into the bright blue skies.

——  
_( present time )_

Blood. Blood was everywhere. Slicked against Vincent’s mouth, tangled into his thick hair, and dripping from his claws and cloak. Vincent heaved again, blood pouring from his mouth and splashing wetly against the cement below him, painting it a gruesome crimson. Vincent laughed as he retched, blood pouring down his chin. 

Blood that was not his. 

The monsters around him lay scattered in pieces, abdomens slashed open and guts lying strewn across the ground. A coppery stench filled the air. There were no large pieces remaining, as the beast had consumed them with a rumble, leaving Vincent to deal with the aftermath. 

He deserved this, Vincent figured, as partly-digested monster innards slipped from his mouth and squelched onto the stone beneath him. Vincent gurgled in disgust as the contents of his stomach kept coming, filling his mouth over and over. 

Vincent began to choke on it, tears filling his eyes as he sobbed, pain wracking his frail body. Vincent collapsed onto his side, and chaos rumbled deep inside his mind. Vincent coughed more, lips turning blue and blood dripping from his nose.

Chaos growled. Vincent shuddered.

Chaos lunged into the forefront of Vincent's mind, knocking the man's world off kilter, and shoving him into an inky darkness. He knew, now, that this was probably the end. Chaos would be discovered and the WRO would try to catch him, but the demon, stuck without a purpose, would most likely lose it’s cool. And combined with the temper of Gallian… 

Vincent panicked, hit with flashes of light and movement. He attempted to wrench back control from Chaos, but to no prevail. He was stuck as a passenger in his own body, just a mere observer. Vincent could practically hear Lucrecia’s panicked cries. 

Letting out a breathy sigh, Vincent finally relaxed, condemning himself to a fate worse than death.


End file.
